Kingdom Hearts For Dummies:Remix
by TheMasterLink
Summary: [COMPLETE] So....What happens when Axel talks in HTML, The Mysterious person in the black clothes is a Oompa Loompa and the Author destroys the world? Find out by reading this. Also be sure to check out Kingdom Hearts For Dummies:The Aftermath
1. Prolouge:Beginning

We all know time will tell when evil will rise again...But this time it didnt. This time a girl named Kari did. This is how Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories Goes...

"SORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Yelled Kari.

"what?" Asked Sora.  
"Look at the newspaper!"

Sora looked at then fell down like he had a heart attack.

"They arnt making froot loops anymore?"

"No not that the part about Ansem making a robot him thats really annoying so now you got to kill it."  
"That didnt happen in kingdom hearts: Chain of memories."  
"Shut up. The robots in a place called castle obliviation."  
"Where is it?"  
"Right over there."  
"Cool."  
"So sora in order to blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. BLAH BLAH BLAH!  
"Eh? Soory I was playing Lumines for the PSP. BUY IT NOW!"

"Shut up now get you're butt over there and kick that robots butt!"  
"I dont think I can..."  
"Why?"  
"Donald and goofy are gone..."  
"THEY SAID THEY HATED YOU AFTER CHAPTER 1 IN KINGODM HEARTS FOR DUMMIES!"

"No..You are mistaken."  
"SHUT UP AND GET OVER THERE!"  
"K...Mean lady..."

So Sora started walking over while now playing death jr...

"BUY IT NOW!"

Soon Sora came upon the castle but was soooo into his PSP that he bumped into Axel.

"Wha7 d0 u 7hink u r d0ing 1i7713 m4n?" Asked Axel.  
"Oh...Playing Death. Jr."  
"u r n07 g0ing 70 kn0ck d0wn 7eh c4s713?"  
"Oh yeah sure. I will."  
"LOLOLOLOLOL! u c4nn07 8347 m3 1i7713 m4n."  
"I will."  
"LOLOLOLOL! 137s figh7!"  
"Sure whatever."  
"U R N07 SC4RR3D! RUNNNNNNNNNNN!"

So Axel ran away and Sora entered the castle.

**TO BE CONTINUNED...**


	2. Chapter 1:Axel

Sora walked into castle oblivitaion...not knowing what to do...while playing his PSP.

"Yo!" Said a voice.

"Eh?" Asked Sora.  
"I am that person in the black clothes that you never see the face of!"  
"Goodie."  
"You should be scared now."  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."  
"Thats better."  
"No I lost at Lumines at lvl 17..."  
"Shut up and get through this castle."  
"Nah."  
"..."  
"Yay lvl 5!"  
"Get out of my castle."  
"Wait you're castle?"  
"Uhhhhhh...errr..."

Sora took off the hood of the figure to find...a oompa loompa.

"I hate this place." Said sora.  
"Oompa loompa oompidy doo! Ive got a bullet headed for you!"

"Crap."

Sora dodged just in time to whack it back with his PSP.

"What? But it should break through the PSP!"  
"Its bulletproof."  
"Man I have one and its all 3rd dimension and stuff!"

The oompa Loompa threw the PSP to the ground and a safety parachute came out.

"What the f-HOLY CRAP!"

Sora whacked the oompa loompa killing it.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Chapter 2:Oompa Loompa

Sora walked on deeper into the castle...unaware of anything...while whistling old McDonald had a farm.

"S70P N008!" Said Axel flinging into the hall behind sora.

"What do you want geek?" Asked sora.

"G33K? U R 7EH G33K!"  
"Goodie."  
"Shu7 Up and figh7!"   
"K."

So they started fighting and soon Sora had beaten the living daylight out of Axel at least 6 times.

"I will kill j00!"  
"Want me to pound you again?"  
"Look my mom makes me do this so lay off a little k?"  
"K."  
"N0w I sh4ll kill j00!"  
"Yippie."

Sora opened a door went inside a room and locked the door.

"That should get rid of him..." Said Sora.

"Oompa Loompa-" Started a voice.

"Crap not this again!"

"Ive got another bullet for you!"

"Grreaaaaaatttttttt..."  
"No Seriously."  
"...Shut up im taking over."  
"NOOOOOOOO!"  
"Then wheres the ansem robot?"  
"Top floor."  
"Whats he doing there?"  
"Getting plastic sugery done."  
"Oh god..."  
"Hes getting a nose!"  
"Goodie."  
"And a look like michael jackson."  
"HOLY !"  
"Hahaha. I knew id scare you. I ment micheal jorden."  
"K."  
"I mean jackson!"  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."  
"I can do this all day. Okay hes really getting a look like Willy Wonka."  
"Holy crap."  
"I know...theres only one thing to do!"  
"What?"  
"Eat candy till we get fat enough to explode!"  
"...Shut up."  
"K."  
"Ill go destroy that robot."  
"Yayyyyyyyyyyyy! Nooones hero!"  
"Wait what?"  
"Nothing..."  
"I knew I heard something...waitt...didnt you die in the prolouge?"  
"Oompa Loopa's never die!"  
"Great...now I cant kill you."  
"Chopping off our heads will usually kill us."  
"Good."

Sora chopped off the head of the oompa loompa and went up the first staircase and into the darkness..

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Chapter 3:Downfall

Sora walked up into a room. Then he saw a light! And uhhhhhhhh...Bowser came out!...And Mario came to save the day anddddddddd...

Fan:How desprate can you get for a storyline?  
Author:takes out chainsaw and chops fans head off

Fan:May the force be with you!  
Author:Shut up. Now back to the story.

Sora looked as Mario started beating the crap out of Bowser.

Mario:Eat this Fatso!  
Bowser:Fatso?...sobs like crap  
Mario:Im sorry I didnt mean it.  
Bowser:Really?  
Mario:YOU BET I DID!

Bowser:Runs through the wall while crying

Sora:Who are you?  
Mario:Its'a me Mario!  
Sora:Well...Why are you here video game charecter which sucks more than me?  
Mario:Axel Summoned me!  
Sora:So I have to fight you right?  
Mario:Well...Umm...He wanted me to bring him a sheet of computer language so he could talk like it. So here I am!  
Sora:Good enough for me!  
Mario:What are you here for?  
Sora:Im gonna kill that robot on top of the castle.

Mario:Cool can I help?  
Sora:Wait...Are you a oompa loompa?  
Mario:...HOWD YOU KNOW?  
Sora:I have my reasons.

Mario:Ah well. Scince you found out my name im gonna run now...runs out of castle  
Sora:Whats up with these oompa loompas?  
Oompa Loompa:Dont ask me im just a oompa-

Sora:Chops Oompa Loompas Head off

So Sora went up the next set of stairs and found...another staircase on the other end of the room!

Sora:Ok...Well I guess ill go up the stairs.

Fan:Dont the authors up there working with the rob

Sora:Hes gonna stop typing what you say if you say that.

Fan:  
Sora:See?  
Fan:  
Sora:Oh wait...Forget it.

So Sora ventured up the final set of stairs to the roof where he found the author and the robot.

Author:So you have found my hiding place!  
Sora:Actually the glowing gave it away.

Author:...It did? Man I suck.

Sora:Right on!  
Author:Dont make me stop typing what you say!  
Sora:...Ill be good.

Author:Now then you shall battle my robot while I take over the world!

Sora:Yay!

So Sora had to battle the robot. There was thunder cool sound effects and censored stuff like swearing I the author cannot type.

Sora:I whooped the robots butt!  
Author:Yeah I pity anyone who missed it!  
Sora:Did you take over the world yet?  
Author:Can I have 10 more minutes?  
Sora:Sure.

So Ten Minutes Later...

Author: IT IS COMPLETE!   
Sora:What is?  
Author:You're downfall!  
Sora:Why?  
Author:because of the power I have?  
Sora:How come?  
Author:My experiment made it happen!  
Sora:How?  
Author:Well it...umm...STOP STALLING! I SHALL NOW TAKE OVER NOT THE WEBSITE THIS STORYS BEING POSTED ON!  
Author:Bow to the oompa loompa!  
Sora:I killed 2 of them.

Author:Well...sigh There went my army.

Sora:Dont feel bad. NOW IM GONNA WHOOP YO

Author:I told you id stop typing.

Sora:Wanna fight?  
Author:No! I shall take over the world now. HEY LOOK! A MONKEY!

Sora:OHHHHH! A MONKEY! Pets the monkey Now what?  
Author:HAHAHA! I took over the world while you were petting that monkey!  
Sora:OH NOES!  
Author:Now ummm to get to me you'll have to go through the land of mario sonic and megaman.

Sora:Cool.

Author:Im gonna take a taxi.

Sora:Can I come too?  
Author:Sure-I mean-NO! drives off  
Sora:Well crap.

**TO BE CONTINUED!**


	5. Chapter 4:Destruction

Sora looked around.

Sora:Well the crap with this.

Author:okay okay...Just ummmm...beat up axel while I think up a plan.

Sora:K.

So Sora beat up Axel and came back.

Sora:All done.

Author:perfect...HAHAHA!

Sora:Got a plan yet?  
Author:YES! Face the power of the oompa loompas!

Soon oompa loompas were coming onto the rooftop fighting sora.

Author:Dead yet Sora?  
Sora:You wish.

Author:Hey look a monkey!  
Sora:Hello wittle monkey!

While Sora looked at the monkey the author set a giant bomb.

Sora:Now what?  
Author:Well the world will blow up in 5 seconds.

Sora:That gives us...2 seconds to escape.

Author:Im going into hiding.

Sora:Wait! First can you help me?  
Author:Okay. (Freezes time) What do you need?  
Sora:Well I want to know why you made me dumb.

Author:Well...So Id have more smarts than you to take over the world.

Sora:Butt...Make me smart you ing !

Author:Nah.

The author poofed out of there as the world exploded. And suddenly nothing at all seemed right to Sora. Whatever Sora did led to destruction...Now the author would win. And nothing would be at peace...anymore...Now the whole universe fell into darkness...But Sora had gotten smarter than anyone that thought. He was smarter than anyone...But now...The Keyblade had chosen the wrong holder. And disapearred from Sora. And the keyblade went to none other than the author...Suddenly Sora gave up all hope of helping destroy evil...No matter what he did...He would lose. So as Sora died...he thought about what he could have done to prevent this from ever happening. This has not been the final installment in the story...but Sora had died...But later on the Author was destroyed...How you may ask? I may tell you sometime later. About how Sora became the king...of Kingdom Hearts...

**THE END**


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